Control Read online

  “The words,” I reminded him, my control growing thin. “If you want me to fuck you, you need to ask for it.”

  Shaking so hard his teeth chattered, Vy gulped, looked into my eyes, and said, “Please. I need you inside me.” He lowered his gaze and whispered, “Need it so bad.”

  I slammed my mouth against his as a reward for both of us, biting, licking, sucking, claiming. Something deep inside me rejoiced. Mine. Mine. Mine. The thought pulsed through my veins and throbbed in my mind.

  “Bed,” I growled when he yanked his head back and gasped for air.

  “Later.” He shoved his hands between us and went for my zipper. “I need you now.” He cupped my cock, and I throbbed. “I’ve never… I don’t… I can’t wait.”

  I gathered him close and marched out of the kitchen. “I’m not doing this in your kitchen.”

  “You were willing to do it in an alley,” he reminded me.

  “That was different.” I stayed on track.

  “Why?” he whined.

  I had no idea, but it was.

  “Robert.” He licked behind my ear and nipped my neck. “Please. Don’t make me wait.”

  For someone who couldn’t talk moments earlier, he was suddenly having no problem begging.

  “Bed,” I growled, my brain too hazy with lust to think in complete sentences.

  When we passed the couch, he somehow managed to slide down my torso and shimmy out of my arms. “The couch is good.” He reached up behind his head, tugged his shirt off, and tossed it on the floor. “It’s soft.”

  “No.” I batted his hands away from his zipper and tossed him over my shoulder. “You want me to do you on the couch? No problem. We can take care of it after dinner. The ottoman too. That chair.” I tipped my chin toward the chair I walked by. “But the first time we do this, it’s going to be in bed.”

  Why that mattered so much to me, I couldn’t say, but it did. It really did. I’d had a lot of sex with a lot of men, but none of it felt like this. None of them felt like him.

  Before long, we were in Vy’s cozy bedroom. I gently lowered him onto his fluffy bed and then took a moment to admire him. The down blanket was covered in a rich maroon duvet, and his golden hair and creamy skin looked perfect on it.

  “What?” he asked as he tucked his thumbs into his waistband. “You’re looking at me funny.”

  “Nothing.” I shook my head fast, hoping to clear the haze of lust and want and need and lo— “Nothing.”

  He shoved his pants over his hips and down his thighs before kicking them off entirely. Then he flipped over, climbed onto his hands and knees, and crawled toward the head of the bed. My gaze was glued to his perfect backside, the muscles flexing and moving, and when he bent forward to yank the blanket down, I got my first look at the tempting pink rosebud.

  “What?” He twisted his head and looked at me.

  “Huh?” It was hard to tear my gaze away from his ass.

  “You made a funny noise.”

  Probably because I was about to cum in my pants.

  I peeled off my shirt and had my belt unbuckled and jeans unzipped in seconds. Unfortunately, with my boots still on my feet, I wasn’t going anywhere, a fact I discovered when I tripped and fell face-first onto the bed. It would have been embarrassing, but my dick ached too much at that point for me to care about anything other than getting off.

  “Let me help you,” Vy said with a chuckle.

  I flipped onto my back as he crawled out of bed. When I felt him tug on my boot, I looked down and moaned at the sight that met me—Vy kneeling on the floor at my feet.

  “Oh Lord.” Surely he was trying to kill me. I tugged my balls away from my body.

  “Are you okay?” he asked as he yanked off my boots.

  “No! Get up here so I can fuck you already.”

  A couple of seconds later, he did exactly that. With his laughter filling the room and a smile gracing his face, I couldn’t find I regretted turning our passionate moment into a bit of a comedy.

  “I like seeing you smile, Vy,” I confessed.

  He climbed onto my lap and straddled my waist.

  “I’m not much of a smiler,” he said as he turned his face into my palm and kissed it.

  “I know.” I cupped his cheek. “Let’s see what I can do to change that.” I tangled my fingers in the back of his hair and pulled him down until our lips met.

  Though moments earlier I had felt like I’d die from blue balls if I didn’t get inside his sweet ass, I found myself enjoying the sensation of his silky skin rubbing against me, the taste of his mouth as I twined my tongue with his, the soft sounds of pleasure and surrender he couldn’t seem to hold back.

  “Robert.” He moaned and writhed on top of me, rubbing his ass over my dick. “You feel so good.”

  “It’ll feel even better when I’m inside you.”

  I dragged my hand over his back and across his crease.

  He gasped and stilled, no longer moving or blinking or breathing. It dawned on me then that maybe this was new to him.

  “Vy?” With my free hand, I pushed his hair out of his face. “Have you ever bottomed?”

  When he didn’t respond, I had my answer.

  “Do you want this?” I asked gently.

  He bobbed his head and rasped, “So much.”

  “I’ll take care of you,” I promised and rolled us over so he was lying on his back and I was on top of him. “I’ll make you feel so good.”

  He swallowed hard, took in a deep breath, and spread his legs, leaving himself exposed. His trust in me was arousing as hell, which was expected, but it also lit another part of me. My chest ached with feelings I didn’t recognize and couldn’t articulate.

  “Thank you,” I whispered before bussing my lips over his one last time.

  Reminding myself to go slow and ease him into it, I kissed and licked my way down his neck. His nipples were red and swollen from the attention I’d paid them earlier, so I lapped at them and then blew on the moist skin, hoping to soothe.

  “Oh,” Vy moaned.

  “Good?”

  “Yeah,” he said as he nodded.

  “Good.”

  I traced his abdominal muscles with my tongue, sucked on the area right above his hip, and licked his dripping crown, all the while scooting down his body. When my face was even with his groin, I slid my shoulders under his legs and angled them up, causing his ass to tilt and exposing his pucker.

  I raised my gaze and looked into Vy’s eyes as I cupped his cheeks with both hands, spread him wide, and dragged my tongue over his hole.

  “Oh!” His eyes widened with surprise.

  Without slowing, I focused on his puckered skin, flicking my tongue over it until all I heard were gasps and moans.

  “Robert, please.”

  I curled my tongue and slid it into his passage.

  “Robert!” He crunched his stomach and looked at me, his pupils huge, forehead damp with sweat.

  “Mmm,” I moaned and dragged one hand down his thigh. “Want you.” I pushed my thumb into his ass.

  “Yes,” he responded immediately. “Please, yes.”

  “Where’s your lube, Vy?”

  Before he could answer, I pushed my other thumb inside him and fucked him with my thick digits.

  “Ah!” He arched his back. “Ah! Ah! Ah!”

  “Vy?” I stopped moving.

  He looked at me and panted.

  “The lube?”

  “Nightstand,” he finally said.

  I nodded and then got back to work, spreading my thumbs and pressing my mouth to his hole so I could tongue-fuck him again.

  “Oh Lord.” His entire body shook. “I… I…. Robert. Robert. Robert!”

  The last call was loud and desperate. It seemed neither of us wanted to wait. I sat up but kept one hand on his ass, replacing my thumbs with two fingers and pumping them in and out. Tall as I was, I was able to stretch enough to reach the nightstand with my other hand and retrieve the lu
be.

  “You’re huge,” Vy said.

  I glanced over and saw him staring at my rigid cock.

  “You can take me,” I assured him, knowing I’d opened him up and relaxed him.

  “I want to.” He raised his gaze to my eyes and then grabbed his legs behind his knees and pulled them against his chest. “Take me.”

  With a few quick movements, I had my dick and his crease slick and ready. I knelt between his legs, set his ankles on my shoulders, and pressed my crown against his rosebud. The sight of him waiting for me was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen, and when I pushed inside his guardian ring and watched him open for me, I moaned.

  “So beautiful, Vy.” I kissed his calf. “Every damn part of you is so beautiful.”

  He arched up as I slid the rest of the way inside his channel, not stopping until my balls were slapping against his skin.

  “Ungh, so good,” he moaned. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he arched his back. “You feel so good inside me.”

  It felt amazing to me too. I rocked gently, gliding in and out, letting him get used to the feeling of a man inside him. When he started meeting my thrusts with hard, jerky motions and gasping for air, I lay on top of him, resting my forearms on the mattress, and increased my pace.

  “Oh!” he yelled when I changed my angle.

  “There?”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “There.” He stretched his neck, gulped, and said it again. “There.”

  I nailed that spot once again, and his mouth dropped open, so I kept going, fucking his sweet spot with long, hard strokes. My pleasure mounted, my breathing quickened, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to last much longer.

  “Soon,” I said against his mouth.

  “Me too.”

  I dipped my face and kissed his swollen lips as I continued to pump in and out of his body. Then I planted my hands on the bed, straightened my arms, and began fucking him in earnest, slamming inside hard before pulling out and ramming back in again.

  “Yes!” Vy shouted. “Fuck me.”

  I did. I pummeled into him, taking everything he could offer and giving him everything I had in return. Hard and brutal, we moved together, me pushing down, him humping up, until finally, he screamed my name and shot so hard cum streaked across his cheek and chin.

  “Vy!” I gasped, unprepared for the heat that would flood me at the sight of his orgasm. I’d done that; I’d given him that pleasure. “Vy!” One, two, three more thrusts, and then I stiffened and pumped long, thick volleys of seed into his welcoming body.

  When I was finally spent, I circled my arms around him and rolled onto my back, taking him with me. I cradled his lithe body against my chest, kissed his sweat-damp hair, and listened to him breathe.

  I wanted to thank him. I wanted to tell him how amazing he was, how good he felt. But before I could gather enough air to speak, I noticed his breathing had evened out and his eyes were closed. Seemed I’d fucked my little bird into slumber. After the day he’d had, he probably needed the nap. I gave myself another few moments to hold him, and then I’d clean him and go fix supper. I figured he’d be hungry when he woke up.

  Seven

  Vy

  I COULD barely breathe, the weight of my discovery absolutely paralyzing. Everything had been so perfect and now… not.

  For what felt like the hundredth time, I ran the events of the morning back through my head.

  “You’re freaking out because I topped, and I don’t understand why.” Robert had been pained, not exactly yelling, but the closest I had ever heard from the man in the short time I’d known him.

  He had jumped to his own conclusion, and I understood why. I wasn’t talking, so his mind had gone to what he thought was logical. And I wanted to tell him that the issue was not at all about me bottoming. The concern was far more dire than that. I knew who I was, and giving to my mate would have never tripped me up.

  “Vy?”

  I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

  “Vy,” Robert pleaded, coming toward me, his eyes stormy with emotion.

  I walked backward, making sure he couldn’t touch me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me this was going to freak you out?” he snapped at me, his patience having reached the breaking point. Apparently I was the only one who could topple down the man’s normally calm demeanor. It should have made him think but sadly did not.

  If he could just examine his own thoughts, maybe he would reach the same conclusion I already had.

  “Vy,” Robert said, his voice cracking. “Please let me get you a blanket or something. I mean, I know it’s not the middle of winter, but it’s still cold at this elevation.”

  But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the betrayal.

  “Honey,” he husked, reaching for me. “Please tell me how to fix this.”

  I turned and ran, leaped suddenly, and took to the air in a fluid movement, my wings carrying me high above him in seconds. It was soothing and I calmed, soaring above the tops of the highest ponderosa and bristlecone pines. How I could have missed it, missed how he was, was beyond me. It had never even crossed my mind.

  It took half an hour for me to get to the abandoned barn where I had played when I was young, and when I did, I landed on the roof, shifted, and sat there. I stared out at the meadow and beyond to the woods. I couldn’t remember how many times I’d hiked them and had so looked forward to sharing secret paths only I knew with my mate. I didn’t bother wiping the tears away when they came.

  I wasn’t sure how long I sat up there, but I must have fallen asleep because the sound of a car door slamming, and then another, startled me awake.

  “You’re a dead man!” Lou yelled from the ground twenty feet below. “I have been looking for you all goddamn morning! You scared the hell out of me.”

  I flicked my gaze from her to her husband Carlo and back.

  “Did you hear me?”

  I went back to gazing out at the woods.

  She started to swear, and I heard her and her husband inside the barn. They would either have to shift to reach me or climb the rope tied to the center beam––it was the only thing remaining in the gutted barn. I knew which choice they made when there was a crash. Lou had done what I thought she might and climbed up the heavy rope to the trapdoor that used to be in the barn loft, but was now simply in the roof.

  “You’re lucky I don’t shoot you,” she snarled, climbing up through the door. She walked gingerly across the spine of the mostly intact roof. Not that it mattered. Even if she fell through, she could shift in time to save herself before landing, but wiggling out of clothes was annoying. “Vy!”

  I didn’t answer, just stared at her.

  “What are you doing up here?” she yelled.

  When I still didn’t respond, she looked over her shoulder. “C,” she called to her husband. “I need a jacket or your blanket from the truck.”

  “Okay,” he groaned, moving the arm that he had been using to brace himself onto the roof and disappearing back through the trapdoor.

  When Lou sat down, she didn’t get too close to me, as always, sensing my mood. “What happened?” she asked softly, her tone coaxing instead of combative, like it had been seconds before.

  I ignored the question.

  She cleared her throat. “Your scent is odd, sort of smoky, and it’s usually sharper, crisp like freshly cut grass or apples.”

  Never had I imagined that Louisa Maberti would make a good mother. The very idea of the hard-as-nails deputy being maternal was foreign to me. But suddenly I understood what Carlo meant when he’d said that Lou was the kindest, gentlest person he knew. The nurturing was simply rolling off of her.

  “Why do you smell funny?”

  I could hazard a guess.

  “So did you sleep with your mate?”

  The word stung, and I inhaled sharply.

  “Did he”—she coughed—“hurt you?”

  I shook my head. Being in bed with Robert had been the g
reatest sexual experience of my life. Not only had I been able to trust him with desires I had never let another person glimpse, but the freedom of knowing it was my mate who was taking me had been indescribable. Nothing, even flying, came close to submitting to my mate.

  “Vy… honey… please talk to me.”

  But what was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to confess how annihilated I was? That mate or not, I should have never gone near the man?

  “I need to know what’s wrong so I can help. You have to let me serve you; it’s what I do as your ahir, and not letting me—Vy.” She gasped. “This is my place in your life and denying… you have to—”

  “Babe.”

  We both turned to Carlo, who was holding a blanket out to his wife.

  She rose, tiptoed back across the open beams to the part of the roof that was solid, took the blanket, offered him a hand, and helped pull him up until he was next to her on the weathered lumber.

  He bent and kissed her, and I heard her sigh of pleasure before she pivoted to return to me, husband in tow.

  They sat on either side of me like living bookends, and Lou opened the blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. Carlo, six foot two, two hundred pounds of him, all heavy muscle and wide shoulders, tucked the ends of the blanket around my legs.

  “So?” he prompted me. “Speak.”

  I squinted so no more tears would come, not wanting to cry in front of him.

  “Vy had sex with his mate,” Lou offered.

  “Why isn’t that a good thing?” Carlo asked her.

  “I’m not sure yet.”

  “Did it suck?” he asked his wife.

  “I don’t think so. His scent says no. It’s changed, just like mine did after, just like yours.”

  “But, um, Robert, he’s not a hawk, so maybe his scent stayed the same.”

  “Maybe.”

  “I mean, who knows anything about bears. I certainly don’t.”

  I swallowed hard. “It changed. His scent, I mean. It did change.”

  “Oh,” Carlo said quickly. “Well, that’s good. That means for sure he’s the right one.”